


I Married My Bestfriend?! *not clickbait*

by cresserendipity



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Youtubers, Childhood Friends, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Roommates, accidentally married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:06:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28132137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cresserendipity/pseuds/cresserendipity
Summary: The one where Kuroo and Kenma accidentally got married for a YouTube video.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 8
Kudos: 103
Collections: Kuroken Christmas Exchange 2020





	I Married My Bestfriend?! *not clickbait*

**Author's Note:**

  * For [electric_stydiax](https://archiveofourown.org/users/electric_stydiax/gifts).



> This is for Iris! Hi Iris, I hope you like this. Happy Holidays!

**November 17**

In the frame, Kenma takes a deep breath and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. He looks at the camera for a second, two seconds, and sighs again. It cuts to a black screen.

Kenma returns, wide eyes staring at the camera. “Hi guys, I just wanted to post an update for all the people bombarding my Instagram and Twitter…” he trails off, scratching at a spot on his shoulder as he stares to the space beside the camera. “So I’m going to make this quick…”

He reaches for something and his hand returns holding a piece of paper that he shows to the camera. Before it can focus, though, he has moved it off the frame. Kenma tries to smile though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Uhh… me and Kuro got married. Officially. We… have a marriage certificate and everything.”

He turns silent, still staring at the expanse of wall behind his filming equipment. Then he blinks, looks back at the camera. “Yeah, we got married…” he breathes out a laugh, and whispers under his breath, so quiet that his microphone almost didn’t pick it up, “But now Kuro is gone…”

Kenma bites his lip, his one hand still on his other shoulder, scratching at the piece of lint unconsciously. “So… yeah. That’s all.”

The screen cuts to black.

-x-

**October 10**

“Hey!”

Before Kenma could react, there’s a body suddenly beside him on the couch, reaching for the box of pepero in his hands and the next thing he knows, Kuroo has a bare arm around him and his warm naked, glorious, torso is pressing against his side.

Kenma pushes him away and scoots to the other end of the sofa. “What is it?” he mumbles, looking at his phone where he’s scrolling mindlessly, but honestly just trying to look somewhere else than Kuroo’s toned body _right there_ beside him.

“I have a _very_ great video idea,” Kuroo says, his smile wide as the stick of pepero dangles from between his teeth, his eyes shining with mirth.

Kenma knows that look. And though he trusts Kuroo with his entire life, he knows whatever Kuroo is thinking when his eyes shine like that and when his lips form a smile like that, it’s never good. Flashes of his life suddenly appears in Kenma’s mind—a night out of town when they were teenagers and being grounded for weeks, eating only ice cream for three days and having a severe stomach ache, trying to climb that one tree in their neighbor’s backyard and falling to the ground—

The point being: sure his ideas are always fun at first, _until_ it blows up in their faces.

Still, Kuroo’s shaking from excitement, even wiggling his toes which are peeking from beneath his comfy pajamas, and Kenma’s only one man. One man—weak for his overly excited best friend.

Kenma sighs, takes another pepero and puts it between his lips. “What’s your video idea?”

“Okay! So I saw this Tumblr post—” _Red flag number one._ “—Bokuto sent it to me—” _And red flag number two._ “We pretend to get married and _then_ we send out invitations to rich CEOs so they’d send us gifts.”

Kenma looks at him incredulously, the half piece of pepero hanging out of his mouth in disbelief. “And… what made you think that’ll work?”

“That one reblog that’s from this user that used to be a secretary or something said it _does_ work. Most of the times that their bosses receive invitations like that, they’re too busy to attend anyway so they just send a congratulatory gift.”

“Look, Kuro, I don’t think—”

“Come on, it’s gonna be really fun! Let’s just try it!”

“Kuro, no…” Kenma sits up straight and dusts off the crumbs from the front of his hoodie. From the side of his eye, he can see Kuroo pouting, his shoulders drooping in disappointment.

“But Kyanmaaa~” Kuroo pleads, tugging at the sleeves of Kenma’s hoodie and bouncing on the sofa, looking like a legitimate five-year-old asking his mother for a toy. 

As much as Kenma knows he is Kuroo’s weakness, Kuroo also knows he is Kenma’s weakness. They are each other’s Kryptonite and Infinity Stone at the same time. But Kenma has to draw the line somewhere. _Pretending to get married?_ That’s just absurd.

He clenches his jaw and stands up, pulling his sleeve from Kuroo’s grasp and pretends he doesn’t hear the small disappointed noise that Kuroo makes. Kenma walks away and makes his way to the kitchen.

“Kenmaaa~!” Kuroo calls out from behind him.

“The answer is no, Kuro!” 

-x-

**October 17**

“And, here’s Kuro… he says we gotta buy rings so it’s more ‘realistic’...” Kenma holds the camera in front of his face, making it focus on Kuroo who’s looking intently at the displays behind the glass. When Kuroo hears him, he looks over and smiles at the camera, then gestures for Kenma to come closer. “Look, there… I think that’s great… just simple.”

Kenma looks at what he’s pointing at, and at the far back of the glass display is a pair of simple wedding rings, two thin gold bands with white topaz on the body sitting inside a black satin box, what’s peculiar is it’s not a complete circle, instead, each ring ends in two pointed arrows, a couple of millimeters apart. Kenma raises an eyebrow interestingly, pointing the camera on the display and zooming in. 

“Yeah, it’s beautiful…” he whispers, and with his focus entirely on the rings, he doesn’t see Kuroo smiling down beside him, looking at him with tenderness in his eyes. 

“Hello, sir, how may I help you?” a staff suddenly says, smiling pleasantly at them.

Kuroo smiles back at her. “We’re interested in that pair of rings over there… yeah, that…”

“Oh, sir, good eye! [This pair](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/54cbfdb4e4b0138463ac0ea0/1494605885507-18DWH6257XODB7DVIP0X/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kOM0wi0zWgY49OChaGdbQod7gQa3H78H3Y0txjaiv_0fDoOvxcdMmMKkDsyUqMSsMWxHk725yiiHCCLfrh8O1z5QPOohDIaIeljMHgDF5CVlOqpeNLcJ80NK65_fV7S1Udq808UFTE3RUCYZpscC1JaI0xjbDb9OOCsv-L8MD1ND_7k-9-XsFQ9lvpTgv0wwCA/R49H-WT-YG.jpg?format=750w) is actually very unique and although it’s not very famous around here since it’s a little unconventional, it’s actually very meaningful…” the staff pulls out the box and shows it to them, the two automatically leaning down to get a closer look. “If you look at it, you can see that the ends doesn’t meet, and Alisa Haiba, the maker of these rings, said that she intended to make it this way to remind the wedded couple that they may never ideally agree on everything, not have the same thoughts nor the same emotions, but if they get married, they’ll be a part of a whole.” The staff takes one of the rings out and brings it up to the two of them. “Much like this ring… they will never really meet, but they’re still part of the same ring…”

Kenma looks up at Kuroo, only to see that Kuroo is already looking at him, and they smile at each other, seemingly reaching an understanding that’s unknown to everyone but them.

Kuroo smiles and looks back at the staff. “We’ll get them.”

-x-

**October 15**

Kuroo and Kenma have been inseparable since they were children, neither of them knew why. It’s not like they liked the same things or played the same things, Kenma preferred to stay inside to play video games and Kuroo wanted to bask under the sun and sweat. Until now, they still want different things, but they have long since stopped questioning why they somehow ended up liking each other’s company.

They’ve been living with each other since they went to California to study, and though they’re full-time YouTubers now with enough income to have separate homes, they unanimously decided home isn’t home without the other, and so, they stayed together. Kenma knows they’ll just end up going over each other’s houses anyway, and it’s not like living together is bad, in fact, it’s very convenient.

Less bills and more homecooked meals courtesy of Kuroo.

Kenma is sitting against his headboard reading through comments when a knock suddenly sounded from his door.

“It’s open,” he says, and doesn’t look as Kuroo opens the door and slips inside his room.

“I brought you tea.”

“What tea?”

“Chamomile. It’ll help you sleep.”

“Hmmm…” Kenma puts his phone down and reaches for the cup, keeping it between his hands and loving the warmth radiating from it. He takes a sip and watches from behind the rim as Kuroo sprawls on his bed and watches the ceiling.

“Do you really think it’s a bad idea?”

Kenma sighs and puts the cup down to the bedside table.

“Okay, don’t answer that, I can already tell from your face—“

“It’s not that it’s a bad _bad_ idea, but like… do you _really_ want to do this?” Kenma asks, stretching his body to push his toes against Kuroo’s side, taking his warmth away. Kuroo puts his hands around his feet and massages it, his hot palms warming Kenma’s cold feet.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Kenma bites his lip and struggles to explain. “You know, what if your future wife sees it or something, wouldn’t it jeopardize your future relationship?”

Kuroo raises an eyebrow and presses his thumbs on the pads of Kenma’s feet. “If my future spouse can’t take a joke then I’m not marrying them.”

Kenma rolls his eyes and is about to pull his feet away when Kuroo catches it and holds it in place. “Besides, it really is just for fun, it’s not gonna be real or anything, we can do it in Vegas and all, you know we’ve never been to Vegas so now we can have an excuse to go and have a vacation or something.”

“And what if no CEO gives us gifts?”

“Then…” Kuroo shrugs his shoulders. “Let’s say mean things about them on the vid—“

“Kuro—!”

“I’m just kidding, I’m just kidding!”

Kenma looks at him with disapproval nonetheless and Kuroo smiles sweetly. “Then at least we had fun in Vegas.”

They were silent for a while, Kuroo continuing to massage Kenma’s feet and Kenma looking at Kuroo intently, wondering whether _them_ and _weddings_ can go together and not blow up in their faces.

Finally, Kenma huffs out a breath. “Alright then…”

Surprised, Kuroo raises his head, mouth open and eyes wide as he looks at Kenma unbelievingly. “Really?!”

Kenma nods and gives him a small smile. “Yeah, let’s get married.” And somewhere in the general region of his chest, his heart skips a beat.

-x-

**November 12**

“Hi guys! Welcome back to my—wait Kenma whose channel are we uploading this?”

In the frame of the main camera, Kuroo looks beside him where Kenma is sitting on the carpet in their living room. Kenma shrugs his shoulder and hugs his knees. “I dunno, yours? It’s your idea.”

Kuroo nods and looks back at the camera and beamed a smile. “Right! Welcome back to my channel, so we just got back from Las Vegas, and, if you’re new here and you don’t know _why_ we were in Vegas—Kenma, tell them what we did in Vegas…” he says, nudging Kenma with his shoulder wearing his grin on his face that he knows his subscribers absolutely love. 

Kenma sighs and shows the camera the back of his left hand, pulling at the sleeve of his hoodie a bit so his fingers are all visible. “We got married.”

Beside him, Kuroo breaks into applause and shows the camera his own left hand where an identical ring is sitting nicely on his ring finger. “Yes! We got married!” he says while doing the hand thingy that beauty gurus do to showcase their products for the camera to focus, bragging about his “wedding ring”. Kenma shakes his head and watches him quietly, inside his sleeve, he touches his ring with his thumb, the feel of it already familiar on his finger.

Finally, Kuroo has finished showing off his ring and went on to explain their plan, right according to their script. “So if you’re wondering _why_ we got married, I read this brilliant post on Tumblr which is originally a tweet…” He points to the space beside his head where he’ll presumably edit a screenshot of the post. “And I thought it would be an interesting thing to try, besides!” He throws a hand around Kenma’s shoulder and pulls him to his chest, leaning his head on the crown of Kenma’s head and rubbing his cheek on it affectionately. “My _husband_ —or, is it fiance at the time? _Anyway,_ Kenma haven’t been to Vegas—”

“Correction, the two of us haven’t been to Vegas,” Kenma quips.

Kuroo freezes but recovers immediately, smiling at the camera, “Well, yeah, that’s understood. Where you go, I go, so by the rule of association, saying you haven’t been to Vegas means I also haven’t been to Vegas…”

Kenma looks at him weirdly, and Kuroo turns his head to look at him, their eyes meeting while their faces are extremely close. Kenma blinks and Kuroo takes back the hand that was around Kenma, clearing his throat and scratching the back of his neck. Kenma moves a few millimeters away from Kuroo, biting his lip and throwing a look at the camera filming their every move. They _have_ to cut that footage out, lest Kuroo’s subscribers get the wrong idea. 

“Anyway!” Kuroo claps his hands together and goes back to explaining. “We sent a couple of fake invitations out to the Top 50 rich people that we found in Forbes and pretended we’re their long-lost cousins and that it will mean the _world_ to us if they attended our marriage or something, saying something like they can stay over at our house so they don’t have to get a hotel—it’s just an excuse to give our address so they’ll know where to send gifts—and! Kenma, tell them what happened.”

“Well… a lot of them ignored us. But a couple actually RSVPed to say that they won’t make it because they’re busy or something, and a few _actually_ sent us gifts.”

“To tell you the truth, I didn’t know this would go over as smoothly as it did. I was secretly anxious that what if someone actually RSVP 'Yes' and attend our fake wedding or actually show up outside our apartment, but thankfully, none of that happened.” Kuroo heaves out a sigh of relief while Kenma nods beside him. “But, everything’s done and we’ll now be opening our _wedding_ gifts.”

“Let’s open that one first, I felt it earlier and it feels like a pillow or something.” Kenma says and points at a bulky square package wrapped in white wedding-themed gift wrapper looking like it just went through a _very_ rough journey in the courier. 

Kuroo reaches for it and brings it to his lap, pressing on it, letting out an _ooooohhh_ as he feels a soft material inside. He nudges it to Kenma and smiles at him. “Do the honors, husband.”

Despite how Kenma’s heart skipped a beat in hearing Kuroo call him “husband” he pretended to be nonchalant and rolled his eyes, ripping the wrapper haphazardly and pulling the content out. It’s not a pillow, but a thick quilt with colorful patterns. 

“It’s… a blanket… wow…” Kuroo says, holding up the quilt for the camera.

“Hang on, there’s a tag…” Kenma pulls at the tag in the corner to read it. “‘The Miracle Maker’. Enjoy the warmth of a soft blanket while you and your spouse make…” Kenma trails off, eyebrows furrowing as he silently reads the rest of the text.

“Make what?”

Kenma briefly throws him a look and clears his throat. “It’s dumb, but uhh… ‘Enjoy the warmth of a soft blanket while you and your spouse make love. 8 out of 10 couples that used the Miracle Maker blanket got pregnant within a year. Try now!’”

Heavy silence envelops the room while Kuroo’s jaw drops as he looks at Kenma and Kenma looks away, his cheeks heating up. 

“Is that for real?!” Kuroo exclaimed, taking the tag from Kenma’s grasp and reading through it quickly to confirm that it is, in fact, a Miracle Maker blanket. He searches the ripped wrapper for a card and sure enough, there’s a small rectangular paper taped to the wrapper. “It says… ‘Congratx—’ with an ‘x’ ‘—on getting married. All the best, Lev Haiba’”

“Didn’t we put Mr. and Mr. on our invitation?” Kenma asks.

Kuroo nods and shrugs his shoulders, wrapping the Miracle Maker around him. “It _is_ warm though. Can I have it?”

“As if I’d want it…” Kenma mumbles under his breath.

The two of them continued to open the rest of the gifts, getting a two-thousand-dollar Amazon gift card from Yaku Morisuke, a painting from Oikawa Tooru which was his own painting, and a 10-piece set of Le Creuset cookware from Ushijima Wakatoshi. 

They’re in the middle of opening a huge box that’s from Sakusa Kiyoomi when their doorbell sounded. 

“You expecting someone?” Kuroo asks. 

Kenma shakes his head. “Maybe it’s another gift?”

“Oh, right. I’ll get it. You can open it without me.” Kuroo passes over the cutter they’re using to open up the box and leaves the room to check.

Kenma takes the cutter and slashes at the tape, talking to the camera awkwardly while Kuroo’s gone. “I think it’s a washing machine, but that’s absurd, no? Would someone really gift a random cousin a washing machine?” 

Meanwhile, Kuroo opens the door to see a delivery man standing outside, holding a parcel. “Delivery for Mr. Tetsurou Kuroo?” he asks. Kuroo smiles and takes the parcel, the light and thin feel of it making him wonder what’s inside. He signs the confirmation receipt and thanks the delivery man, taking the parcel inside back to where he and Kenma were filming.

“It’s a washing machine,” Kenma says and Kuroo stops in his tracks at the doorway.

“No way!”

“I’m serious, look.” Kenma gestures in front of him where he has lifted the box cover from the washing machine, and sure enough, a sleek black machine is standing there. Kenma takes the manual and reads the front. “LG TurboWash 3D… how much is this thing?”

“That’s crazy!” Kuroo laughs as he surveys the washing machine, giving Kenma the parcel while he walks around it. “We have another gift by the way. This washing machine has WiFi! How does that work?”

Kenma takes the parcel and as he reads the label on the plastic, he freezes. “Kuro. It’s from that studio.”

Kuroo is still looking at the complicated buttons on the top. “Hm? What studio?”

Kenma has already ripped open the plastic, taking a brown envelope inside. “Married in Vegas Studio. _That_ studio.” This time, Kuroo’s attention is caught and he looks at Kenma with wide eyes while he opens the envelope and takes out the files inside.

The paper is only halfway out of the envelope when Kenma looks at Kuroo with horror in his eyes, and he whispers, “Kuro, it’s a _marriage certificate_.”

Oh. 

-x-

**July 6**

**(Nine years ago)**

“What do you think your wedding will be like?” Kuroo asks from beside Kenma, the orange glow of the setting sun casting shadows on his face. They were sitting on the grass in their favorite park, the park they always walk by on the way home from school, always just in time to watch the sun sink on the horizon.

Kenma frowns as he thinks about the question, staying silent for a few minutes as he mulls over it. He realizes he’s never thought about that thing before, and honestly, he doesn’t want to think about it. Finally, when there’s only a small sliver of sun visible, he says, “I… don’t think I’ll ever get married.”

“Why?”

“I think… marriage is… bullshit.” With that, Kuroo looks at him from the corner of his eyes, silently asking a question. Kenma sighs and continues, “I don’t know. I don’t think I’d find someone I’d like to spend the rest of my life with, and even if I do, I can still do that without marriage anyway. Marriage is just a trap, a way for society to shove unrealistic expectations to everyone like if you don’t get married you’re a fucking weirdo when in fact not getting married is a perfectly normal choice.” He shrugs and lets out a sigh. “I think the concept of marriage is just unnecessary pressure to everyone. It’s ‘when are you getting married’ and when you finally do, it’s ‘when are you gonna have a baby’ and so on and so forth. And besides, I already have friends, I have Shouyou and the others. I have _you_.” He shrugs again. “I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking it.”

“No, no, that’s…” Kuroo looks at him and smiles, nodding his head in understanding. “That’s fair.”

 _I knew it, there’s no chance…_ Kuroo thinks.

Kenma nods at him too, somehow relieved that Kuroo doesn’t think he’s weird when Kenma’s sure he’s expecting him to answer ‘simple’ ‘festive’ ‘happy’ or whatever weddings are supposed to be like when Kuroo asked him about his future wedding.

The sun has finally set completely when Kuroo let out a laugh. “That’s good, too, then I can keep you all to myself and I wouldn’t have to surrender you to your wife.” He brings his arms to his knees and covers his face with it, hiding the fact that his laugh has fallen and his heart is aching. 

Kenma chuckles and shakes his head, he says, “If you work on your gaming skills, then maybe I’ll think about keeping you around.”

Inside his mouth, knocking at the back of his teeth, were the words _I hope I can keep you to myself, too, I think about my future and the only one I see is you._ He presses his lips together and swallows them down.

-x-

**November 13**

**(Present time)**

The sun hasn’t even risen yet but Kuroo is already up, silently padding around the apartment, and with a soft thud, places a heavy bag down beside the sofa while he sits down heavily. He’s fully clothed, like he’s going somewhere.

He places a piece of paper he took from the to-do notepad they keep on the refrigerator door onto the coffee table and picks up a pen, uncapping it with his teeth. 

The tip of the pen hovers above the paper for a few seconds.

_Come on, just say it. Say you’re leaving. Better to leave voluntarily than be kicked out, or worse, what if he pretends it’s fine but day by day he’ll be secretly loathing me and he starts being angry with me until every day he’ll be shouting at me and—_

Kuroo closes his eyes tightly and takes a huge breath, holding it for a few seconds before letting it out slowly. Forcing away memories of late nights in his childhood when he could hear his parents screaming at each other through the walls, shouting at the dinner table when all he wanted to do was eat peacefully, trying to make it work “for the children” when all it did was give Kuroo and his sisters a traumatic childhood and trust issues. 

It’s better to leave now, when things are still calm. He’ll find a lawyer and work on the divorce, he can just mail it to Kenma when the files are settled. 

Kuroo takes another breath, then he starts writing.

Only a few sentences are written when he stops.

 _But Kenma is different. Kenma and me are different. Maybe we can actually make it work? And even if we don’t, maybe we can talk about it calmly like responsible grown ups. Maybe I don’t need to leave_ —

But memories of the few times Kenma was angry at him resurfaced in his mind. A slammed door and a locked window, ignoring him for weeks, a hundred messages left unanswered.

_Kenma doesn’t like talking. He’s going to ignore me, or he’s going to leave if I don’t._

With a strengthened conviction, Kuroo swallows the lump in his throat and keeps writing.

When Kenma wakes up hours later, the apartment is quiet and the breakfast on the table has gone cold.

-x-

**November 9**

“Kuro, put your seatbelt on.”

“I’m going to pee…”

“Pee later. We’re taking off,” Kenma snaps at him and holds him to his seat. It’s not that he’s afraid of flying, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. 

On the seats around them, he can hear their friends—or, _guests_ —talking to their cameras for their own vlogs They don’t have a lot of friends in California, mostly their “YouTube friends” as Kuroo calls them, and they don’t want to invite a lot on their fake wedding anyway. The ones that came along mostly just wanted an excuse to go to Las Vegas and have fun.

Kuroo begrudgingly clicks his seatbelt on and settles on his seat. Looking out the window, he whispers, “I hope it works.”

“Hope _what_ works?”

“The idea?”

“I thought it’s fine even if it doesn’t work because we’ll be enjoying in Vegas anyway?”

Kuroo chuckles and presses his hands to his jeans, bouncing in his seat. “I’m so excited!”

Kenma shakes his head but laughs at Kuroo’s cuteness anyway, and then he looks down and he sees the ring they bought sitting on his finger (Kuroo said it’s better to wear it as often as they can so they’ll get their money’s worth) and he touches it with his thumb.

There’s a small smile in his lips and a fluttering in his stomach. And he’ll never admit it but he’s kind of excited with the wedding, too. 

_Maybe being fake-married to Kuro wouldn’t be too bad._

-x-

**November 17**

“Bokuto, hi…” Kenma presses the phone to his ear tighter.

It’s his sixth call for the day. It’s been four days since Kuroo left and it’s his birthday today and yet he’s still nowhere to be found. They’ve celebrated each other’s birthdays together _every year_ since they’ve known each other, and this is the first year Kenma’s not spending it with him.

_“Kenma, you called? Is everything alright?”_

“Hi, yeah, uhhh… I’m just wondering if you’ve seen Kuroo or talked to him in the past four days?”

There is silence in the next line and Kenma bites his lip anxiously.

_“Sorry, no, I haven’t. Last I saw him was in Vegas for your wedding. Why?”_

Kenma closes his eyes in frustration and presses his hand to his forehead. _Where is he?_

“Nothing, nothing. Can you tell me right away if you have news about him?”

_“Sure, of course!”_

“Okay, thanks Bokuto.”

_“Sure, Kenma. Just call me if you need anything, alright?”_

Kenma forces himself to let out a small smile. “Yeah, thanks so much.” And he ends the call, throwing his phone on the cushion beside him and rubbing at his eyes.

He hasn’t been sleeping a lot—if at all—since Kuroo left, his days filled with headaches and heartaches and worry. Sure, Kuroo left a note that he’ll be gone for a while, not even saying how long “a while” is, but it’s been days and he’s not answering his calls and texts.

He also missed his usual upload schedule every Monday, and that’s saying a lot because Kuroo has _never_ missed an upload. Ever.

So, he worries. He’s not with any of his sisters, nor with their YouTube friends. Kenma’s _this_ close to hitting up Kuroo’s friends from university and if he doesn’t show up by the end of the week, he just might.

Kenma doesn’t understand, he thought everything’s going alright, it’s _Kuroo’s idea_ for crying out loud. But then again, Kenma saw how Kuroo’s expression changed when the marriage certificate arrived, and _sure_ , Kenma was surprised too, they were so sure everything’s not official, but this… leaving…

Kenma remembers that one time in high school when they talked about marriage, and he vaguely recalls saying he doesn’t want to get married and the whole speech about how marriage is a scam and oh… shit…

What if Kuroo didn’t want to get married too? Or what if he _wanted_ to but… just not with him?

Kenma lets out a shaky sigh, completely slumping down on the sofa, wrapping the Miracle Maker blanket around his body.

“Hey blanket, don’t get me pregnant but can you… can you bring Kuro back?” In the silence of the apartment, his voice sounds odd, like it’s not travelling through air right.

Kenma falls asleep on the couch with the Miracle Maker blanket wrapped around him. If the blanket could talk though, it would’ve said it couldn’t bring anyone back. But it can’t talk, so instead, it warms him during the cold night.

-x-

**November 28**

“Hi guys, how’s everyone?” Kenma smiles at the screen, checking if his audio and video is working. He squints at the live chat, reading his subscribers messages and questions. “I thought I’d do a livestream update since I haven’t been uploading in a while…”

The viewer count is rapidly increasing, now going over five thousand, so Kenma clears his throat and starts talking. “So yes, I have been taking a break from YouTube for a while, I just needed time for myself. But I _have_ been streaming games on Twitch at least every Wednesday so if you want to hang out, you can find me there at _kodzuken_ as well.”

He stops to read the chats, and though it’s going too fast for him to read fully, he sees Kuroo’s name mentioned a lot. He figures there’s no sense in not saying it right away since he knows it’s what his—and Kuroo’s—subscribers are most curious about, so he says, “Yes, Kuro is still not here, I assume he’s also taking a break from YouTube…”

Kenma looks down to where his fingers are peeking out, briefly touching his ring with his thumb. He looks up the screen again, reading the chats for questions.

“Yes, I think he’s okay, he hasn’t been kidnapped or anything, he…” He trails off, not knowing how to say things. “He… left on his own accord. No, we didn’t fight—well, as far as I knew… No, I don’t know when he’s coming back, he didn’t say.”

_Are you going to upload a video from the wedding?_

“Well, regarding the wedding, Kuro was the one who vlogged it so he has all the footage. I don’t want to speak for him so I’m not sure if the video is still going to be up, but if it does, it will definitely be in his channel,” Kenma says.

_How are you doing?_

Kenma stills for a moment, mulling over the question. How _is_ he? He doesn’t know.

It’s the first time he’s been apart from Kuroo like this—not knowing where he is or when he’ll be back—and he’d be lying if he says he’s not affected. It’s been 15 days since Kuroo left, and if it weren’t for the note that said he’ll be gone for a while, Kenma would’ve sent out a search party for him by the second day. 

But maybe he needs some space and time, for whatever reason. Growing up, it was always Kenma who needed time and space, and Kuroo respected that, so the least he can do is respect him too this time. 

So Kenma slips inside Kuroo’s room at night to sleep, burrowing under the sheets that smells distinctly like his friend—his… husband—and hopes he comes back soon.

Kenma snaps in attention and looks at the camera. “How am I? I’m… doing okay. No, honestly. I just don’t have the energy to make YouTube videos at the moment, but I _will_ come back soon.”

On his lap, he traces the ridges of his ring with his finger, feeling the space between the two pointed arrows.

_“Alisa Haiba, the maker of these rings, said that she intended to make it this way to remind the wedded couple that they may never ideally agreeon everything, not have the same thoughts nor the same emotions, but if they get married, they’ll be a part of a whole.”_

Kenma used to think it was bullshit, the entire “part of a whole” thing because Kenma was not half, and Kuroo wasn’t, either. They’re whole by themselves and don’t depend on others to complete them.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when Kuroo’s gone, though.

-x-

**November 10**

“I told you all those shots are a bad idea…” Kenma mumbles, placing a hand on his forehead to massage his temples. He can feel his head getting heavy, and he knew he shouldn’t have accepted all those tequila shots from Kei and ignored their taunts for the _newly weds_ to do body shots.

Beside him, Kuroo chuckles and toes of his shoes wiggling on the bed until his head hits the pillows. “I’m never drinking again,” he says, his voice low and hoarse. 

They haven’t bothered to remove their shirts from the wedding, and they know they probably smell gross with all the dried sweat and dirt clinging to their bodies but they couldn’t be bothered to change or shower. It’s a miracle they even reached their hotel rooms and the bed. 

Kenma squirms on the bed as well, moving his head to place on a pillow but instead of the soft cotton pillows, he feels a hard elongated shape behind his neck instead. When he turns his head to look, he sees Kuroo’s shoulder, so it must be Kuroo’s outstretched arm that he’s laying on right now. Kuroo doesn’t seem bothered so Kenma curls up on his side, head leaning on the place where Kuroo’s shoulder and chest meet.

It’s silent for a while, their even breathing the only thing that can be heard besides the faraway noises of traffic that’s forever present in the streets of Las Vegas. 

With his eyes closed, Kenma whispers into the dark, “Kuro, are you asleep?”

Kuroo hums as answer, moving his head so his temple is touching the crown of Kenma’s head, and then Kenma feels a hand on his hair. Kuroo gently pulls at the hair tie keeping Kenma’s hair bound behind his head, then gently cards his fingers through the strands, the pads of his fingers massaging Kenma’s sore scalp.

Kenma moves closer to him, their bodies slotting perfectly with each other like two familiar puzzle pieces. He’d never been this close to Kuroo before; sober Kenma would’ve maintained at least half a feet of distance between them, but his mind is cloudy and Kuroo’s body is deliciously warm and sturdy, so he lets his body move naturally, his arm going over Kuroo’s chest and his leg curling around one of Kuroo’s own.

The hand massaging his hair continues, and Kenma knows he’s going to fall asleep soon, so without thinking much, he opens his eyes and raises his head, looking at Kuroo’s face.

In the dark, he couldn’t see clearly and he blinks a few times, but he can feel Kuroo’s hot breath on his face so he must be looking at him too.

“Kuro…” he whispers, and Kuroo lets out a soft _hm?_ “I… I love you, do you know that? I love you, and… and I’m glad—glad we got married. I’m glad it’s you, even if it’s fake…” He says, and after a few seconds of silence, he adds, “I wouldn’t have anyone else to be my fake husband, because I love you, Kuro…”

He can feel Kuroo’s breath catch, he can hear Kuroo swallow slowly, and as his eyes adjust, he can even see the white of Kuroo’s eyes so so close to him.

Perhaps it was his imagination, the intoxication playing with his mind, but Kuroo’s softly smiling face is gradually getting closer, and he can feel his own head leaning in on its own, meeting Kuroo halfway. 

Their lips meet, and Kenma’s head empties of any coherent thoughts, mind only full of _Kuro_ and _Kuro_ and _Kuro’s mouth_ and _Kuro tastes like tequila and forever._

-x-

**December 19**

On _kodzuken’s_ channel, a recently uploaded video turns up after a while; it was a short video, barely over a minute long.

Kenma is sitting on his desk as usual, his headphones around his neck, his hair messily tied into a bun at the back of his head. The bags under his eyes are deepening and darkening, the whites of his eyes crawling with veins. 

He didn’t bother pretending to smile, and just went straight to the point. While looking straight at the camera, he says, “Kuro, I don’t know if you’re watching my videos or if you’re even checking YouTube, but I don’t know anymore how to contact you and, I don’t know, maybe you _don’t_ want to be contacted, so I’m just putting this out here…

“You’ve been gone for over a month now, it’s been more than a month since you left without me knowing why. Did I do something wrong?” He lets out a dry chuckle, looking down to where he’s fiddling with his fingers. “It’s almost Christmas, and between the two of us you’re the one who’s more traditional during holidays. I’ve bought all the ingredients for a strawberry shortcake but I realized I don’t know how to bake it because you’re always the one who did all the baking.”

He looks at the camera and sighs, not really expecting whatever he’s doing to work but hoping nonetheless. “I hope you come back because… I don’t want to be a divorcee yet, so… please come back.”

Before the video cuts to black, it can be seen how Kenma’s face fell, the sadness overtaking all his features. It’s only a split second, but everyone can see just how different it is to his usual chill and at ease expression that he has shown his subscribers thus far, and it’s a far cry from how his eyes sparkle and crinkle at the sides, how his lips curve upward whenever he’s with Kuroo.

_“I hope you come back because… I don’t want to be a divorcee yet, so… please come back.”_

Tsukishima’s living room plunges into silence as the video ends, and Kuroo swipes a hand to his face in frustration, rubbing at his eyes and raking his fingers through his hair. While leaning beside the passageway by his living room, Kei raises an eyebrow and pauses the video just before it cuts to black, freezing where Kenma’s melancholic face is shown.

Kuroo groans and slumps on the sofa, eyeing the ceiling like he’s been doing for the past couple of weeks he’s been hiding in Kei’s house. “I feel like shit…” he says, his face just as devastated as Kenma’s, if not more. “And I miss him so bad…”

Kei rolls his eyes, having heard all of it before and dealing with Kuroo’s mopey ass for weeks. “I _think_ you should get your shit together and go back to your husband.”

“He’s gonna hate me.”

“Bold of you to assume he doesn’t hate you already.”

“Not helping, Kei…”

Kei sighs and crosses his arms on his chest, looking over Kuroo who looks like he wants to be buried under his couch cushions. “Be honest, though, do you really think he hates you?” he asks, and Kuroo’s head raises to look at him. “Or are you just telling yourself that so you feel better about your own, unrelated fears?” 

Shaking his head, Kuroo returns to looking back at the ceiling. “I love him, Kei, I don’t want to lose him…”

Kei shrugs his shoulders and turns around to walk away, but before he’s gotten far, he calls over his shoulder, “You’ll lose him if you don’t go back, Kuroo.”

-x-

**October 9**

Aside from watching Kenma struggle in beating a video game, Kuroo’s second most favorite pastime is mindlessly scrolling through social media, reading things he’d otherwise wouldn’t know or think about. He is sitting on the couch comfortably, the television turned on in a random channel for background noise as he laughs over memes on the internet.

Suddenly, he comes across [a certain post](https://triflesandparsnips.tumblr.com/post/180352014654) on Tumblr, which is originally a screenshot of a tweet. User _behindyourback_ says, _“tip for newlyweds: send a wedding invite to every billionaire whose address you can find because it’s a 50/50 chance their assistants just send you a perfunctory gift without ever wondering who the hell you are.”_

Kuroo squints on his phone, an eyebrow raised in wonder, as he reads the other notes on the post. Someone says, _“Now I want to get married just so I can do this.”_

Kuroo’s eyes brightens, his mind running a mile a minute and he looks back, to the direction where Kenma’s game room is, where his best friend is probably kicking someone’s ass on stream. He looks back at his screen, liking and reblogging the post, a mischievous smile on his face.

Maybe he can go ask Kenma to try it out with him, just for the hell of it. It will be a fun video idea, and besides, now they’ll have a reason to fool around in Las Vegas. 

In his mind, Kuroo imagines getting married to Kenma, saying their vows, promising each other forever by their sides—

Kuroo feels his heart do a weird thing, like someone poked his right ventricle, and he swallows, suddenly feeling nervous for no reason.

_Tomorrow. I’ll ask Kenma tomorrow._

-x-

**December 25**

Standing from outside the door of their apartment, Kuroo tightens his hold on his bag and takes a deep breath. Whatever happens, he’ll accept it. If Kenma throws a vase towards his head, he’ll receive it. If Kenma pushes him out the door, he’ll go. If Kenma wants him to kneel, he’ll kneel.

The gravity of what he did hits Kuroo full force, his hand stopping just shy away from the keyhole of the doorknob. He wanted to avoid being like his parents so bad, he didn’t realize he has pushed away the one person he trusts completely not to be like his parents.

It’s Christmas morning and Kuroo Tetsurou is having a mild breakdown staring at the wood of their door. He takes a deep breath again and inserts the key into the hole, opening the door and walking silently inside. The moment he steps in their apartment, he’s hit by the scent of Kenma—his milk-scented shampoo and conditioner, his lavender body wash, and the smell of his body that became as familiar to Kuroo as the back of his hand—his knees almost giving up beneath him. He didn’t realize how familiar Kenma’s scent is to him, how it comforted him. 

Suddenly, he realized that aside from Kenma and the smell of emptiness thick in the apartment, there’s a scent coming from the direction of the kitchen that smells funny. He inhales and thinks, _Kenma’s probably cooking_.

Kuroo places the bag down on the floor and walks to the kitchen slowly, and just before he looks inside, he closes his eyes and tries to calm himself down, putting a hand over his chest and patting his heart. _Whatever happens, I’ll face it._ But the thought of seeing Kenma again, after all these weeks of hiding from him and ignoring him, makes Kuroo want to run back out.

But he’s really done running.

He takes a step towards the doorway of the kitchen, taking in what’s inside. The counter is filled with so much stuff—baking stuff, Kuroo realizes later—bowls and plates stacked high on the sink. On the only empty space of the counter, Kenma was bent down trying to put icing on what looks like a brown lump of dirt. When Kuroo comes in, he looks up, eyes widening as he looks at Kuroo unblinkingly. The world stops spinning, Kenma stops breathing. 

Kuroo takes a deep breath and gives him a small smile. “I’m home…”

Hearing his voice, confirming that he’s _real_ and he’s _here_ , Kenma’s tears start flowing down his cheeks, and he lets out a sob from deep in his chest. Despite the tears though, he smiles at Kuroo and says, “Welcome home, Kuro…”

-x-

**November 10**

In front of an old officiant with white hair and thick eyebrows, two men stand beside each other, holding hands.

“If you have prepared your vows, you may now say them…”

Kuroo nods at Kenma, tightening his hold on Kenma’s hands even though his palms are sweating so bad.

Kenma bites his lip, his heart beating so hard even though he knows this is just for fun, this isn’t real, Bokuto's even there on the front holding their vlog camera, focused on the two of them. But still, it _feels_ real.

He opens his mouth and starts to speak. “Kuro… you have been my friend for a long long time—so long that I stopped counting, so long that I know I wouldn’t need to worry about you _not_ being my friend.” Kuroo smiles at him, a blush starting to creep up his neck. “You know I don’t really believe weddings and marriage, but if there is one thing I believe in, I believe in us, in the Kuro and Kenma that will continue to be together no matter what.”

Kenma takes a deep breath and gives Kuroo a tentative smile. “I know that as long as you’re with me, looking forward to the rest of my life wouldn’t be so hard.”

Kuroo nods at him, his eyes bright and shining, and he rubs a thumb across Kenma’s knuckles. 

“Kozume Kenma… World-famous _kodzuken_ … _My_ Kyanma…” He laughs as Kenma’s face turns sour at the nicknames, but he continues, “When we were young, every time I bothered you, I was so scared you’ll just randomly start throwing things at me because there were times I wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer—honestly up to now I’m still surprised you haven’t—but anyway, my point is, I never expected you to be the most patient and kind person I’ll ever meet on this Earth. When people meet us, they naturally think it’s some kind of one-sided friendship, and I used to be so bothered about it—I felt like I need to explain to them that you care about me just like I care about you _if not more_.

“But now, I just think it’s funny, how people can look at you and think you’re this indifferent, apathetic person with a heart of stone, because I personally saw you take in an orphan kitten and try to nurse it back to health, and when it couldn’t make it, you cried for so long I was scared you’ll get dehydrated.” He chuckles at the memory and then he looks at the camera Bokuto is holding, talking to it. “Contrary to popular belief, the world-famous _kodzuken_ is the most warmhearted and loving person I have ever known…” He looks back at Kenma, their eyes meeting. “And I’m so honored I get to be with you for a long long time.”

-x-

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also on Twitter [@kodzucress](https://twitter.com/kodzucress)!


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